The Right Time by Susan X. Meagher

Author:Susan X. Meagher [Meagher, Susan X.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Coming of Age, lesbian, Fiction, romance, College
ISBN: 9780996677400
Publisher: Brisk Press
Published: 2015-09-24T16:00:00+00:00

When Hennessy arrived, it was clear Townsend had been crying again. From the looks of her swollen eyes and mottled face, she probably hadn’t stopped in the last hour. Sitting down next to her, Hennessy slipped an arm around her shoulders. “Tough day, huh?”

“Very.” She leaned against her, then nuzzled her face against her neck, taking in a deep breath. “But I feel better now that you’re here.”

“I do, too.”

The meeting began and eventually it was Townsend’s turn to talk. “Hi, I’m Townsend, and I’m an alcoholic,” she began, her voice quieter and less confident than normal. “I had eight months of sobriety, but I had a major slip this week.” Her shoulders began to shake, and Hennessy put her arm around her again to encourage her to continue. “I feel like shit about it and about myself,” she added. “I was so sure that I had this figured out, but I don’t.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, until another woman reached over with some tissues. “Thanks,” she said. “I thought I’d brought enough, but I underestimated how many tears I had stored up.

“Uhm…I’ve been thinking about what made me slip, and I think it was the same old thing.” She looked up at the crowd, each of whom was listening intently. “I felt invisible.” She said this quietly, so quietly Hennessy could barely hear her, but several heads in the room nodded in understanding.

“My mother is…famous and the headmaster of my school asked her to speak at my graduation.” She bit her lower lip and continued. “For the first time in my life, I’d started to feel good about something that I’d accomplished. I’ve always been proud of myself for getting kicked out of school, but this year being sober let me get off my ass and work, and it’s been great,” she admitted, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “It’s something I did for myself—only myself.” She took in and let out a massive breath. “Having my mother come to the school will make my graduation about her. I’ll disappear,” she said in a mere whisper.

Her shoulders started to shake, and Hennessy held onto her tightly. “I felt myself disappearing the other night, and no one…no one understood,” she choked out. “I was so alone, so scared…I couldn’t bear feeling that lonely. So, I did what I always do. I went to a bar and let a bunch of douchebags buy me drinks. The guys are vermin, but they’re consistent. They know what I want, and they’ll give it to me as long as I do my part. It’s a fucking sick bargain, but I can count on it, no matter what.” Her whole body shook, then she leaned back against Hennessy, muttering, “That’s it.”

Hennessy held her, letting her cry quietly as the next person started to speak. She’d let Townsend down. Not intentionally. Never intentionally. But the damage was the same. They couldn’t go on this way. They weren’t smart enough to navigate these waters.

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